6 months... 26 weeks... 182 days done, 98 days to go... anyway you look at it, I've started my third trimester of pregnancy. I'm not sure I'm ready to the pregnancy to be done, meaning I'm officially a Mom.
Is anyone really ready for that moment? I mean, I know come 9 months I'll be begging to get this child out. But right now I look in the mirror, see my growing belly and think "Um, let's reverse 6 months. Let's wait a little longer for this... Maybe another year...Not sure I'm ready for this." I mean, I know that I wanted this baby--so excited to get pregnant. We prayed about it and felt that it was right. This wasn't an accidental pregnancy. And the fact that we got pregnant so soon after deciding to start trying to get pregnant let's me know that this baby needs to come into the world now.
But there is still a part of me that starts to panic and freak out at the thought, no the knowledge, that I am going to be entirely responsible for this little person. It is my and David's job to raise him right and if we fail we have a lot to answer for. I think mainly I'm kind of freaking out about the major change that my life will take, literally overnight. It will no longer be me and David--able to do whatever we want, whenever we want (except when school gets in the way). Oh, and then there is the whole sleeping, well lack of sleeping thing, that happens with a baby in the house.
Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to be a Mom--it is all I've wanted to do my whole life! I know it is what I am meant to do. And I know that it is all worth it. But is anyone really ready for it? Am I freaking out too much? Over-stressing like I usually do about everything?
Plus... When I go to hug David, the first thing that touches him is my belly....
5 comments:
I totally know the feeling. I felt the same way and you will be better than you can imagine. Don't forget though, you will be more than just a mother. It shouldn't define you it should be just one part of who you are.
Emily,
In response to your title, "Is anyone really ready for this," the answer is no... No one is "ready" to be a parent - that's why parents make so many mistakes. My parents made loads of mistakes and I'd like to think I turned out ok...
One thing I do is when I get an idea regarding parenting, I write it down - not that I'm expecting to look at them later, I don't even know where most of the pages I wrote on went... but It helps me feel more prepared, like I know what I want my child to learn from me and that as long as my child knows that I love him, hopefully everything else will fall into place.
Remember that yes, this child is part of you and part of David, but he is also himself just as you are yourself. You and the baby are not the same.
Let me know if you need anything - love you!
I love the quote...
"if you ever wonder if you're a good parent, then you probably are. Bad parents don't wonder about those sorts of things."
Nobody is ever ready...but becuase you wonder about it....means you'll be wonderful at it.
Oh Emiline! No one is ready, and no one can be... its kind of like when you get married, you're never really prepared for it because you have never experienced it before. This is probably one of the biggest times that stress will come because you haven't been "mother" to anything yet. But it will come naturally, I promise. I felt the same way and sometimes I still feel like it would be nice to just be a couple and not worry about feeding times or bedtimes, but let me tell you... it is SO worth it!!!! The minute that I look at Aaron the love that I have for him becomes overwhelming and it makes everything feel ok. Sleep will return a lot faster than you expect and eventually you will just get used to it. One advantage of nursing is that I pretty much sleepwalk and feed the baby, I don't have to think about anything, I just somehow wake up when he is done eating, put him back in bed, and go back to my bed!
You will be an amazing mom! I know that you don't know it now, but I know you will be. You are amazing already so how could you not be? ;) I love you!!!
I totally love Jamie's comment, because I was totally going to say those things before I read hers :) I think you are going to be an awesome Mom, Emily! The fact that you already know and expect all sorts of changes to happen will probably make the transition slightly easier! Cherish all the time you two get together without the baby, and know that you will still get alone time after little Bass makes his appearance, I promise! Like Jamie says, you will get back to sleeping all night again, and it's sooner than you think. Being a mom is extremely hard, but so, so worth it. It's also a huge adjustment, but you will adjust! (plus you will have family closeby, and that will help a ton.) Call me anytime, ok? I hope you're enjoying being at home!
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