As a follow up to my last post:
Answers to prayers come in differing speeds. This time I received an answer much sooner than I expected. I know I can't always expect answers to come so soon, but I am grateful that this one did. And it really is better when you actually go into prayer with a decision made and are seeking confirmation. :)
Even before I went to bed on Monday night, I knew what the answer was. However, I took the opportunity with Mom and Dad to fast on Tuesday. Jared fasted as well. In the end I knew my decision and I knew that the Lord was confirming my decision.
I am not going to serve a mission. It is not the right thing for me right now. I will be focusing on school and having fun dating. A mission could be right later on, but for now I will serve in my callings in the church and not as a full time missionary.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
JR told me to update my Blog
That really is the reason that I am writing this blog today. I haven't felt like I have had anything to report recently, which is why my blog has remained the same for the past few weeks. But JR told me to update it, even if I write about having nothing to write about. And that isn't exactly true, that I have nothing to write about.
Work has picked up a bit since I last wrote, thank goodness. However I am still excited to get back to Provo. Only 9 weeks left to work. But who's counting?;)
Also, recently I have been considering a decision which could have a big impact on my life. Now before your thoughts go crazy, no I'm not thinking about getting engaged. I figure that mainly my family reads this blog so I will fill you guys in.
2 weeks ago I went to the home ward where Erin Chriswell gave her farewell talk for her mission. That same day in the branch the Sister missionaries spoke in sacrament. At that point I started to wonder if maybe I should serve a mission. It would definitely be a good, worthy thing to do. During relief society it was also mentioned that if you feel the prompting or desire to do something righteous, then go ahead and do it, the Lord isn't going to tell you "no" to something that is good and worthwhile. Thinking about it now I know that they were referring to small acts of good, but necessarily huge commitments like a mission.
I have always said that this would be the summer that I would either decide to get married (if things worked out between Derek and I) or I would decided on a mission. In truth, I never thought I would come to the point where I would need to decide if I was to go on a mission. I thought I would be married already. And really, who can blame me when you look at the examples I have grown up around. But regardless of that, I do now need to choose and make sure that it is the right thing for me in the eyes of the Lord. This isn't something I can make a choice about lightly. And while it seems like it should be an easy choice--shouldn't I want to go and serve the Lord?--there will be consequences both ways. But I know that I need to make the choice for me and then see if it is right. So that is what I plan to do.
Work has picked up a bit since I last wrote, thank goodness. However I am still excited to get back to Provo. Only 9 weeks left to work. But who's counting?;)
Also, recently I have been considering a decision which could have a big impact on my life. Now before your thoughts go crazy, no I'm not thinking about getting engaged. I figure that mainly my family reads this blog so I will fill you guys in.
2 weeks ago I went to the home ward where Erin Chriswell gave her farewell talk for her mission. That same day in the branch the Sister missionaries spoke in sacrament. At that point I started to wonder if maybe I should serve a mission. It would definitely be a good, worthy thing to do. During relief society it was also mentioned that if you feel the prompting or desire to do something righteous, then go ahead and do it, the Lord isn't going to tell you "no" to something that is good and worthwhile. Thinking about it now I know that they were referring to small acts of good, but necessarily huge commitments like a mission.
I have always said that this would be the summer that I would either decide to get married (if things worked out between Derek and I) or I would decided on a mission. In truth, I never thought I would come to the point where I would need to decide if I was to go on a mission. I thought I would be married already. And really, who can blame me when you look at the examples I have grown up around. But regardless of that, I do now need to choose and make sure that it is the right thing for me in the eyes of the Lord. This isn't something I can make a choice about lightly. And while it seems like it should be an easy choice--shouldn't I want to go and serve the Lord?--there will be consequences both ways. But I know that I need to make the choice for me and then see if it is right. So that is what I plan to do.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Choices
So earlier this week I came home from work very frustrated. Several times in a fairly short amount of time I made the declaration that "I hate my job". I am tired of often havng nothing to work on so I feel like I am wasting my day and not learning anything. At first I was excited to come back to Avanade because I thought I was going to get to see a new side of the company and it was going to be a huge learning opportunity. Well it hasn't turned out that way and it has been getting more and more irritating.
I voiced my rather frustrated opinions to my Dad who said "fine, get another job." He then went on to explain that being adult sometimes sucks and adults have to stick things out that they don't like, sometimes for extended periods of time. He told me a story of my grandfather who was in a job for several years that he hated. he would fire himself every night and then rehire himself the next morning, because he had to.
While those are never things you want to hear when you are upset, i know i needed to hear it. Granted 11 more weeks is a lot shorter than a few years, thank goodness. But I also realized that I have been unhappy for a few months now with things that have been going on in my life. I went to bed fairly upset. In the morning I was still upset but I took some time on the ferry to think things through. managed to tell myself, without getting more frustrated, that I was in fact choosing to be angry and upset about this. I needed to once again learn and apply the principle of "you choose how you feel" and make it so that no matter what happens at work i can still keep a good attitude and not regreat the summer. I don't like being upset all the time and i don't want to be know as someone who is. I think of myself as a happy, cheerful person and that is not who I have been lately, so I needed to turn a corner. So i conciously made the decision to be happy at work no matter what and to work on it every day so that I am not constantly upset. The summer will pass eventually and then I will be able to go back to Provo. In the meantime I am dancing in the evenings and working towards a Ballroom competition in August.
So no more frustrated Emily because a temporary job isn't as good as it has been. Time to grow up rise above it so that I can get the most and be satisfied with what I am able to make here. :)
I voiced my rather frustrated opinions to my Dad who said "fine, get another job." He then went on to explain that being adult sometimes sucks and adults have to stick things out that they don't like, sometimes for extended periods of time. He told me a story of my grandfather who was in a job for several years that he hated. he would fire himself every night and then rehire himself the next morning, because he had to.
While those are never things you want to hear when you are upset, i know i needed to hear it. Granted 11 more weeks is a lot shorter than a few years, thank goodness. But I also realized that I have been unhappy for a few months now with things that have been going on in my life. I went to bed fairly upset. In the morning I was still upset but I took some time on the ferry to think things through. managed to tell myself, without getting more frustrated, that I was in fact choosing to be angry and upset about this. I needed to once again learn and apply the principle of "you choose how you feel" and make it so that no matter what happens at work i can still keep a good attitude and not regreat the summer. I don't like being upset all the time and i don't want to be know as someone who is. I think of myself as a happy, cheerful person and that is not who I have been lately, so I needed to turn a corner. So i conciously made the decision to be happy at work no matter what and to work on it every day so that I am not constantly upset. The summer will pass eventually and then I will be able to go back to Provo. In the meantime I am dancing in the evenings and working towards a Ballroom competition in August.
So no more frustrated Emily because a temporary job isn't as good as it has been. Time to grow up rise above it so that I can get the most and be satisfied with what I am able to make here. :)
Tagged
Well, Katie Tagged me so I better follow through. :)
Three tags.... I have to write down 3 of each: joys, fears, goals, current obsession/projects, and random facts.
3 Joys: The Church, my family, dance
3 Fears: Getting my beautiful car totaled like my car last year, drowning (even though I can swim), convincing myself that something is right when it isn't.
3 Goals: Make it onto a BYU ballroom dance team, Find the love of my life/best friend and get married in the temple; Make the summer pleasant, even if I don't like my job so much.
3 obsessions/projects: Ballroom dance classes--Seattle Star Ball in August, Scrapbooking London, reading the Twilight books :).
3 random facts: I will be going to Utah in 6 days :), the only bone I have broken is my toe and it is because dancers are only graceful when on the stage, My neices are the cutest little girls on the planet--yes that is a fact not an opinion.
Three tags.... I have to write down 3 of each: joys, fears, goals, current obsession/projects, and random facts.
3 Joys: The Church, my family, dance
3 Fears: Getting my beautiful car totaled like my car last year, drowning (even though I can swim), convincing myself that something is right when it isn't.
3 Goals: Make it onto a BYU ballroom dance team, Find the love of my life/best friend and get married in the temple; Make the summer pleasant, even if I don't like my job so much.
3 obsessions/projects: Ballroom dance classes--Seattle Star Ball in August, Scrapbooking London, reading the Twilight books :).
3 random facts: I will be going to Utah in 6 days :), the only bone I have broken is my toe and it is because dancers are only graceful when on the stage, My neices are the cutest little girls on the planet--yes that is a fact not an opinion.
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